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Sweat streamed down my face as my eyes opened
Inhaled deeply and I remember her in picture form.
My photographic memory reminded me of its use
The shadows came to visit me again last night
It looked different
Found in a dark lit red themed jazz night club
Pardon me I still can't breathe
I know this feeling too well
My body's flight or flight response kicks in and I begin to
hyperventilate
In this state of urgency.
I feel a overpowering need to be heard immediately
Urgent like my ancestors way of communication
However time is taking its time
Worries me.
Fade to black
The next morning the sun greeted me on my apartment front steps
Looks like I won the race to home this time sun!
I can still hear the music
I can still hear her blues
I've questioned
I can still feel the joy
I remember interacting with her
And I begin to laugh to myself
A reaction a curious onlooker may mistake for schizophrenia but to me
its my baseline of normalcy.
Laughter ceases
Lips pressed
Another career
Another decade
Another choice made
Another prophecy
Another lifetime
She lives!
And I see her as I apply my lipstick in my compact mirror on this hot
 hazy morning
I see her glare
Her eyes rebirthed in this century this air
In my body
That scent created a flashback
I know it
When I recounted those rhymes on stage it was simply a conversation
between us that I allowed the strangers to ease drop into
Her lips spoke to me in three different languages
But she swears I was never there
Maybe soulless bodies are easier to deem deceased
I felt a strangers presence
Touched his arm
He's real!
Maybe he can see the specialness within me
"How much?" he asked
I looked up and thanked the sky for shedding this 170 pound being
my way to fill the emptiness from my body.
Heres to another chance to being loved
"Whatever you want," I replied.

Just another day of a girl who literally lost her way not knowing her
self worth.
Many people have this. Fight through this and their own hauntings visit them
Never accept the death of your soul. Love with the depths of your soul.
And kill stagnation.

Ode to my youth and adults...