Admiration from afar

Earth, air, fire, water

And I feel like I can decode anyone of them. 

I can decide the compass that orbited the universe and send it back light years away. 

These stars are mere winking eyes 

That shed a light on all the land has to offer, whilst most of the world is asleep. 

I feel like an alien trying to perfect what I've observed from afar. 

Duplicate what it is to be human

Get each move down pat

So as they pat me on the back in greetings they may not feel the difference. 

Trying my best to seem adequate. 

Normal. 

But what I see in humans is inhumane 

What's normal to them has nothing to do with my idea of truth. 

One day they will see me, I can't disguise my eyes

For they are the only part of me that's uncovered

I find myself whispering to myself holding my own self. 

Soothing. 

I CAN feel too 

I'm just not as good in hiding it like humans do. 

We are dying breed

Yet, we are dying to be like each other

Stay true to yourself 

Untitled

Sweat streamed down my face as my eyes opened
Inhaled deeply and I remember her in picture form.
My photographic memory reminded me of its use
The shadows came to visit me again last night
It looked different
Found in a dark lit red themed jazz night club
Pardon me I still can't breathe
I know this feeling too well
My body's flight or flight response kicks in and I begin to
hyperventilate
In this state of urgency.
I feel a overpowering need to be heard immediately
Urgent like my ancestors way of communication
However time is taking its time
Worries me.
Fade to black
The next morning the sun greeted me on my apartment front steps
Looks like I won the race to home this time sun!
I can still hear the music
I can still hear her blues
I've questioned
I can still feel the joy
I remember interacting with her
And I begin to laugh to myself
A reaction a curious onlooker may mistake for schizophrenia but to me
its my baseline of normalcy.
Laughter ceases
Lips pressed
Another career
Another decade
Another choice made
Another prophecy
Another lifetime
She lives!
And I see her as I apply my lipstick in my compact mirror on this hot
 hazy morning
I see her glare
Her eyes rebirthed in this century this air
In my body
That scent created a flashback
I know it
When I recounted those rhymes on stage it was simply a conversation
between us that I allowed the strangers to ease drop into
Her lips spoke to me in three different languages
But she swears I was never there
Maybe soulless bodies are easier to deem deceased
I felt a strangers presence
Touched his arm
He's real!
Maybe he can see the specialness within me
"How much?" he asked
I looked up and thanked the sky for shedding this 170 pound being
my way to fill the emptiness from my body.
Heres to another chance to being loved
"Whatever you want," I replied.

Just another day of a girl who literally lost her way not knowing her
self worth.
Many people have this. Fight through this and their own hauntings visit them
Never accept the death of your soul. Love with the depths of your soul.
And kill stagnation.

Ode to my youth and adults...

1-2-15 Journal Entry

Passion
Rage
Take Note
Taking Notes
I'm always on the search for something
Ready and begging to learn more
Have more insight
More Knowledge
Then understanding from others of myself
and the way I CREATE my world
For some reason at this point in my life
words that leave foreign lips are more potent to me
Dangerous
I'm drawn to it like a moth to a flame
Yet the words that are left have the common denominator of words
left from peeps next door
The main equator is the inequality of what we value.
The American Dream is all based on money
And the things we value are materialistic
I'm more of a nature-naturalistic
I value piece of mind in an empty room.
Namaste.

Around the corner

I want to roam Italy Through the canals allowing my fingers to splash through seashells, greeting endangered sea creatures reminding Of the beauty of life all while lounging backwards with my tongue out.
I want to touch the engravings of a temple in Japan while I allow you to roam through my lower back as if your trying to unlock my Da Vinci code.
I want to taste the oils dripping off my lips during late night stops in the west village all while catching a late night anime at IFC theater grabbing on your...
I want to feel the sweat cascading down your chest between my thighs in the golden sunrise in Egypt as I nourish quenching your thirst in between takes of my breast.
I want you.

Shall we?

Let's have NYC nights Dark lights with hints of brightness falling no pouring from restaurants.
Their essence of scent transcends into the sidewalks onto the nose of passerbys reminding them of what it's like to have peace.
Flee to the walks of the likes of African,Chinese,and European civilizations and appreciate the culture left forward.
Pay it forward.
And remind each soul of its beauty even when that flower can't even notice it's own stems standing high and bright colors compete with the envious sun.

Conciuosness

Excuse me I know your in there.
I stopped banging on the door wouldn't want to cause a seizure.
But I just want to make sure your alright
You've lived in here for quite some time.
And I just wanted to say hi.
It's so bright in here
Electrical waves are staggering.
Maybe tomorrow morning you can come out and play.
Until then tell your next door neighbor you can still love
And your backyard neighbors its easier to breathe.
If you can't tell by now your a brain.

Namaste

These walls need to hear more laughter.
It's their daily meals.
These eyes need to see more philanthropy that goes on and off the radar when no one is looking.
It's their purpose.
This mouth needs to taste all that the world has to offer from lovers lips and body to food.
For the daily nourishment are more than what society creates as a
balanced nutrition.
Live!!!
But now differently.
Empathize. But also know who you are and what you are becoming.
Smile.